There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
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