I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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