I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My vagina just recognized that song.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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