hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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