dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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