Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize