I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
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