He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
