Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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