You can't motorboat a personality
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
