gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
i now understand why vodka
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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