You're completely useless in the revolution.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize