to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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