cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
