When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
