Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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