How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
