During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
