I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
