'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
