I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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