How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
