the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
