Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Farmville is her only friend.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Is it penis luge time yet?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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