After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
