I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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