yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
40s are totally the cure
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
