How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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