no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize