YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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