the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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