I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
