That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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