There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
