Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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