Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
