I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Small penises have feelings too.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
