I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
