Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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