I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
