Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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