Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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