i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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