at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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