Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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