I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize