More tranny stories later!
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I party with great urgency now.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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