well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Randomize
