Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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