This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
