I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
