am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
