She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
did i just pee glitter
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
