You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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