You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
