Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
