Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
