almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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