since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
