The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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