Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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