the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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