1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
