found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I need water and some morals
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