Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
