Pants 0. Shit 1.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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