it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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