I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize